*Ahem* Though Verity Vareé is still chugging I don't want to pretend even for a minute that I'm not completely distracted by this little guy. He is not only tugging at my heart and soul, he is also the hardest work I've ever known, leaving little time for much else.
As emails are piling up and I'm feeling smothered by the number, I want you to know how I feel.
I feel small. I feel weak. I feel tired. I feel ugly many, many days.
Do you know how I feel?
Have you ever heard a crying baby, a ringing phone, or a beeping alarm clock and thought, "Just stop. Please, please stop."
I don't know the answer. The truth is, it's not going to stop. Unless you're working for Meryll Streep in "Devil Wears Prada," you should probably keep getting up to go to work. You should always love and attend to your baby. Alarm clocks only allow you to hit "snooze" so many times before you have to rise and face the day.
I'm not writing today to say, "I've got it! Hey, friends, here's the answer!" In fact, I'm not going to offer up any answer, though I know many. I could end this post with encouragement and truth I often apply to myself on days like these, but I thought this might be enough. Sharing with you that I have floppy thighs, low spirits, and a tired, frazzled soul is not exactly my comfort zone. In fact, I don't like admitting weakness at all. I'm a pretty tough cookie and, ask my husband, I like to keep it that way. My struggles and issues are not something I want even the dearest friend to know about.
But, yesterday when a dear friend walked in for tea and saw my mountain of dirty dishes she did something that shocked me.
She didn't just wave it off and say "it's fine, don't worry." She described in detail a mountain of her own, the swarms of flies that have at times gathered there above mounds of old piling dishes.
I'm sure we've all seen piling dishes. What shocked me was that she described her own blunders unabashedly, no shame, as if that is "quite normal."
It's not normal! Do you have an Instagram? Have you ever been on Pinterest?
We live in a "best foot forward" society that silently screams, "Keep it together, keep it clean, keep it pretty!" Your home, your body, your career, your family, they're perfect, right?
I just want to remind you that though Instagram and Facebook only see the pretty, there is lots of not-so-pretty in my life.
I hope you find comfort in my not-so-pretty. I hope my floppy thighs, uninspired afternoons, and dirty house cheers you in some way. I pray you find some comfort in my messy humanity. You are not alone. I want to do for you what my friend did yesterday. I want to pull back the curtain to show you the "real." I want to gingerly take your hand in friendly spirits and walk with you in authenticity.
1. of undisputed origin; genuine.
synonyms: genuine, real, bona fide, true, veritable
Same sweatpants for three days.
Near-empty piggy bank.
Verity Vareé means, "To strike truth."
I find comfort in sharing with you today, in admitting in a scary, detailed way that I am far from "put together."
This is my real. What's your's?